If you pray and hear, “No.”
So often, we hear about prosperity pastors teaching their congregants that if they have enough faith all of their prayers will come true. Like wishes to Santa Claus, they can request something like good health or wealth, and if they’ve been good enough they will get what they wish for.
But prayer was never meant as a wish list. It was always meant as an act. An act of worship. Worship to God. By praying to God, we are praising our Lord and asking for God’s will to be done. We can make our requests but our prayers are an acknowledgment of who is in charge and who has the final say. Sometimes our requests are answered with a “yes” and sometimes they seem to be answered with a “no.”
I remember once when I was a kid and a carnival came to town. They were there for a few days and my friends and I spent hours riding the rides and giving carnival workers our money to play games. My favorite game was one where you used a squirt gun to shoot water in a clown’s mouth to blow up a balloon on the clown’s head. I was pretty good at it and after spending $20 I popped enough balloons to win a stuffed tiger worth $1.85.
During my attempts to finely tune my squirting abilities, I got to know a few of the carnival workers. They talked about the glamour of working in a carnival. How each week they were in a different town, meeting different people, and seeing the world one squirt gun game at a time. Every day they were eating hot dogs and funnel cakes. To a kid this sounded like the best life ever. My mind was made up. I was going to become a carnival worker. I ran home and told my mother the good news. I told her about the adventurous life, about the excitement, the good food. I was only 12 but I had found my life career. All I had to do was jump in one of the trailers when the carnival left town.
To my surprise and chagrin, my mother was not as excited about my new venture as I was. In fact, she appeared to have completely opposite feelings on the matter. She confirmed this by telling me I was absolutely not, in any way, going to be a carnival worker. At first I thought she just didn’t understand me. So I tried to explain it a little bit further. I pushed the benefits by telling her my travel expenses would be taken care of as well as my meals. There was no experience needed to be a carnival worker and I wouldn’t have to go to college. Think of all the money she would save!
She still said no.
I tried again. I told her this was something that I had always dreamed of. That it was something down deep in my heart I knew I wanted to do. I knew this would make me a better person. All she had to do was trust me. She still said no.
Believe it or not, this debate lasted several hours. From pleading to screaming to back to pleading, I made my case every which way I thought I could. I whined, I hollered. I told her she was not caring about my feelings or my desires. I told her she did not trust me. I told her she was the cruelest parent for not getting any care to my needs and dreams. She remained calm. I’m sure somewhere in between my arguments and yelling my mother tried to explain why it wasn’t a good idea for a 12-year-old to run away with the carnival but I wasn’t really listening to her side of the story. I only wanted my side to be heard.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Looking back, I can easily see my mother’s logic in not letting her 12-year-old son run away with the carnival. I can see the possible harm that could have been caused by letting me go. I can see that my mother was looking out for my best interests. She was seeing the big picture. While I was looking at the short term of my life, my mother was protecting the long-term. In my single focus of joining the carnival I was not hearing my mother’s explanations as to why it wouldn’t be a good idea. At that point I could not see the big picture. I’m glad she saw more than I did. I’m grateful she was in charge. I’m thankful she said no.
Many of our prayers to God are bigger than a request to join the carnival. Many of our prayers are in times of desperation. Times when the answer seems clear, and other times when we seem filled with endless questions. We pray for the health of a loved one, health for ourselves, we pray for happiness, comfort, reassurance. It’s during prayers like these that the answer “no” can seem oh so devastating. How can God say “no” to us in times when we so desperately need to hear the answer “yes?”
But is God really saying “no?”
When my mother was telling me I could not join the carnival I was hearing her say the word “no,” but in fact, she was saying just the opposite by answering a much deeper question. She was saying, “yes, at this time I see more than you.” “Yes, I do feel your sadness.” “Yes, I am here for you.” “Yes, I am protecting you.” “Yes, I feel for you.” She was saying, “Yes, I love you.”
I’m not saying the carnival life is bad for everyone, but I think avoiding that path for myself allowed me to stay on the path I was meant to be on. I had different adventures which led me to the person I am today. Yes, even on this path, some steps have been painful ones. I have made mistakes, and I have been victim to the sins of this world.
It is during these times that I have benefited the most from faith. Not the faith taught by prosperity preachers that say it will give me what I want. I’m talking about the faith I could have used at the age of 12 when arguing with my mother. The faith that someone was seeing a bigger picture. Faith that tells me even when I think I’m hearing no, God is actually saying “Yes.”
“Yes, at this time I see more than you.”
“Yes, I do feel what you feel.”
“Yes, I am here for you.”
“Yes, I am protecting you.”
“Yes, I feel for you.”
“Yes, I love you.”